The Comeback
2 Seasons | 21 Episodes | TV-MA
For Valerie Cherish, no price is too high to pay for clinging to the spotlight. From award-winning 'Sex and the City' writer Michael Patrick King comes this comedy series starring Lisa Kudrow as Valerie--a former B-list television actress so desperate to revive her career that she agrees to star in a reality show that follows her efforts to land a part in a new sitcom.
Valerie Makes a Pilot
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Michael Patrick King & Lisa Kudrow<br><b>Directed by </b>Michael Patrick King<br><br>Accompanied by Mickey, Valerie shoots a "pilot presentation" with college kids she's enlisted to do the camera-work. She's directing the show, as usual, while watching old footage from the past nine years, including ‘The Comeback,' as well as an independent horror film, a crime show, an infomercial for Cherish Your Hair ("hair care for redheads," Valerie explains) and ‘Room and Bored.' Mark arrives, and Tyler, one of the students on the production crew, refers to him as "Uncle Mark."<br><br>Valerie wants her presentation to look professional, as she's going to give it to Bravo executive Andy Cohen for consideration. "We've been communicating," Valerie says, recounting her back and forth with Cohen on Twitter. Another clip of Valerie's plays, showing her in a scene with ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star Lisa Vanderpump. Valerie melts down in the scene and won't play along with Lisa's dramatic ways, lamenting that the producers are trying to make her the villain. "Andy doesn't need to see that!" Valerie says of the clip, laughing.<br><br>In an interview for the presentation, Valerie takes credit for the explosion of reality television. "Well, reality TV has had quite the evolution," Valerie says. "It's a different reality. And I should know because I was there at the beginning with ‘The Comeback.' Back then, it was just me and people eating bugs on ‘Survivor.'" Mickey takes a call from his doctor that interrupts production.<br><br>Valerie's publicist Billy shows up to tell her about a new show Paulie G. is writing for HBO "about a self-destructive sitcom writer." Valerie says that sounds right, but Billy clarifies that it's also about the writer's relationship with a "neurotic, older sitcom actress" with red hair named Mallory. Billy suggests she find the script, but Valerie says Paulie G. is "free to write whatever he wants to write" while she's "free to not react." Despite this, Valerie gets a hold of the script for the show -- titled ‘Seeing Red' -- and discovers Paulie G. has written her as "a monster." Mark says he'll call the lawyers.<br><br>Andy Cohen tweets that he's having lunch at the Chateau, prompting Valerie to head there with cameras. The host at the Chateau says Valerie can't take her cameras in, stopping her with his fist, so Tyler secretly films with his phone. Valerie approaches Andy, who's lunching with RuPaul, and ends up whispering in his ear, "I didn't get it before. Took myself too seriously, didn't know I was playing a character, thought it was me. I get it now." Valerie wishes she would have made a scene before with the host, to help spice up her pilot presentation.<br><br>On her way out of the Chateau, Valerie sees her ‘Room and Bored' co-star Juna. Juna and Valerie have a reunion in front of paparazzi and make plans to get together four months in advance, since Juna will be busy shooting a new movie and for Vogue.<br><br>After lawyers send a cease and desist letter to HBO about the Paulie G. series, Valerie takes matters into her own hands. "Well, I'm mad," Valerie tells her cameras inside the HBO lobby, faux-dramatically, "and this is about to get messy." She adds that she might "flip a conference table or two." The lobby is filled with actresses auditioning for the Mallory Church role.<br><br>The ‘Room and Bored' casting director Sharon appears and brings Valerie in to meet the HBO execs and Paulie G., who's nervously smoking an e-cigarette. A tape of Chelsea Handler auditioning for Mallory plays. Valerie tries to appear angry, but they convince her to read Mallory's dramatic monologue cold, which she does rather arrestingly. Afterward, Valerie's microphone gets stuck in the room, where Paulie G. seems aghast that the execs want to cast her as Mallory. "I don't know what that was, but I've gotta have more of it," says one of the execs. "Is that weird?"<br><br>Valerie tells Mark she got the role in ‘Seeing Red.' "Now it's me playing me!" she says. Mark thinks it's a bad idea: "No f--king way."</p></div>
Valerie Tries to Get Yesterday Back
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Michael Patrick King & Lisa Kudrow<br><b>Directed by </b>Michael Patrick King<br><br>Valerie is shooting a video for her Val Vlog, which includes an impression of Jean Stapleton as Edith Bunker. She announces her ‘Seeing Red' role just as Mark shows up and asks her again why she'd do the show. "It's HBO, Mark," she explains. "I'll be an actress on an HBO show." Valerie defends Paulie G., but Mark says "people don't change."<br><br>At the HBO offices, Valerie walks down a hall adorned with posters of shows from the network. "Guess I'm one of the girls now," she declares as she passes by ‘Sex and the City.' She points at ‘The Wire': "Don't know that one, actually." At ‘Girls,' she says the star, "Leela Durham" is "real special." Valerie and the HBO execs decide to use the footage she's capturing for web and social media content, as long as she gets her old producer Jane Benson to take over. Shooting for ‘Seeing Red' starts next week, prompting Valerie to call her plastic surgeon about short-term options. "You are one of the few actresses who still looks real," one of the execs tells her. "That's why we hired you." Before she leaves, one of the execs invites Valerie to the Golden Globes next week.<br><br>Valerie drives off the LA grid to find Jane, who initially refused her producing offer via email, in what looks like a makeshift dude ranch with horses, goats and dogs. "There's no such thing as a definite ‘no,'" Valerie says, as she arrives. "Oh my God, Valerie!" Jane says. "I thought, Who is this? And then I saw the cameras, and I knew it was you. You never give up." Jane continues to refuse the job and reveals she won an Oscar for a documentary short about lesbians in the Holocaust. Valerie takes several photos with the statuette, which Jane says "makes a good doorstop." She's disillusioned by the lack of funding for documentaries in Hollywood. Jane and Mickey smoke weed, and Valerie smokes, too, in an attempt to show she's relaxed. Jane finally agrees to be Valerie's producer, with Mark's nephew still on the crew.<br><br>Getting ready for both the Golden Globes and ‘Seeing Red' production, Valerie gets a call from the guy who gives her Botox, which upsets Mark. Valerie visits stylist and reality star Brad Goreski to find a dress for the Globes. There's a dueling reality crew filming, too, for a Chinese series starring Goreski. The stylist wants Valerie to try an outlandish dress that Valerie says she'd "never wear in a million years." Brad urges her to model the dress, but she balks. "We just need to see you in a couple of looks for this," he says. "You know the drill, you've had a reality show." Valerie comes out in the dress, saying it looks like she "fell asleep in a bird sanctuary."<br><br>"Did somebody say Golden Globes?" Valerie says dramatically as she comes down her stairs, ready for the show. Jane asks how the cameras will get in, causing a scramble where Billy and Mickey's tickets instead go to Jane and a camera guy. Once at the Beverly Hilton, it turns out Valerie's tickets are for a Globes viewing party in a hotel suite, filled with what Mark says are "Russian whores" and Paulie G., who's again smoking his e-cigarette. "Hello Valerie and her cameras," Paulie G. says in greeting, asking about Jane's presence. "What is this? ‘The Comeback' comeback?" After some awkwardness, Paulie G. and Valerie have a sweet moment. "Next year!" Valerie says, referring to ‘Seeing Red,' "You'll be inside. We'll be inside." Paulie G. heads off to "a meeting," as Valerie jokes that she wishes she was an alcoholic so she could go, too.</p></div>
Valerie Is Brought to Her Knees
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Amy B. Harris<br><b>Directed by</b> John Riggi<br><br>"Hello, hello, hello!" Valerie exclaims, shooting with Jane. "Welcome to my trailer on the studio lot. Come on in." Valerie says the trailer is her "place to get away from it all," inspiring Mickey to complain about the smell inside. Valerie retorts: "Well, it's not Smell-O-Vision." Mickey notes that the smell is coming from the bathroom in the trailer.<br><br>The first assistant director Shayna shows up at Valerie's trailer with the day's call sheet, and Valerie points out that Seth Rogen is playing Mitch in ‘Seeing Red.' Shayna says they probably won't get to the last scene on the sheet, the one where Mallory "blows Mitch" in a sexual fantasy. Jane asks: "Is doing it going to make you feel uncomfortable?" Valerie says actors are frequently asked to "step outside their comfort zone," adding that, for example, one time she had to play a "brunette with migraines." The line producer Ron shows up and asks Valerie about the $7,000 invoice he got for her wig. Valerie earnestly explains that her hair is different than Mallory's, although the wig looks nearly identical to her hair. Marianina, who places Valerie's wig, shows up, and Ron says he's not paying for both her and Mickey. Valerie whispers to him that she'll pay Mickey's salary.<br><br>Valerie meets Seth Rogen at the set gate and spills water on him while delivering "first day flowers" to him. Seth jokes about Valerie making his breakfast, requesting ham and calling her "Gingersnaps." Valerie shows up to the shooting stage in her track suit, telling her cameras that ‘Mary Tyler Moore,' ‘Roseanne' and ‘I'm It!' were all shot here. "Now I'm back," Valerie says, "doing another classic show along with those others." Valerie delivers a ham to Seth Rogen as a joke, while calling him "Seth MacFarlane." Valerie also gives Paulie G. a start-of-production gift -- a special binder for his papers to commemorate his first day as a director.<br><br>Valerie and Seth shoot a scene that features Mallory barging into Mitch's office. "What are you a 9-year-old boy?" Mallory asks Mitch. Seth improvises a lot, which Paulie G. loves, while Valerie is called out for switching one word of her dialogue.<br><br>That night at home, Valerie talks to Mark about the upcoming sex scene, noting that she hasn't done one since she made out with Alan Thicke in a ‘Growing Pains' flashback. Mark wants to practice with her in bed, but she says they can't because of the ceiling camera.<br><br>The next day on set, Shayna arrives in the makeup trailer. "Valerie, I'd like to invite you to set," she says. "We're ready to do the blowjob." First, Valerie has to shoot for a full minute, standing between two naked women, Monica and Celeste, who make "orgasm noises" during a portion of the scene. Jane doesn't want to shoot the gals, telling Valerie she thinks it's exploitative. A prop guy asks Valerie if she'll need knee pads for the blowjob scene. She says "no."<br><br>Paulie G. goes over the scene, directing Valerie to "blow" Seth. "You cool with this?" Seth asks her. Valerie says an uneasy "sure" but asks Paulie G. for clarity about how to play the scene, ultimately deciding that the blowjob is "symbolic, not sexual." Clearly uncomfortable, Valerie riffs a line, and Seth, sensing Valerie's discomfort, suggests that he should do the blowjob work instead of her. "I don't know if you need her to do anything at all," he says. In the resulting scene, Valerie walks over, drops below frame, and keeps her head out of the shot as Seth appears to enjoy a blowjob. Seth tells her: "I got you, Gingersnaps."</p></div>
Valerie Saves the Show
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Amy B. Harris and John Riggi<br><b>Directed by</b> John Riggi<br><br>Ron catches Valerie as she leaves set, telling her that the scenes of her character Mallory at home are being scrapped due to budget cuts. Valerie is concerned that viewers won't see the other side of her character. "I'm just worried about the show, you know," Valerie tells the cameras. "I just want Paulie's vision to get realized, you know." Valerie runs after Ron with an idea of how to make it happen, and cameras cut to Valerie in bed with Mark telling him that the production will be using their house as Mallory's home set. Mark hates the decision but perks up when he learns that Seth Rogen will be shooting at his house.<br><br>The first day of shooting at the house begins, and Mark is irritated. A production person asks if Mallory's mirror goes in Valerie's bedroom, sparking her to again explain a difference between herself and the character. "There's another way that Mallory and I are different," Valerie says. "Mallory likes to watch herself during sex."<br><br>Valerie takes an improv class at the Groundlings, volunteering to do her scene first. "Valerie Cherish," she announces. "I just don't want the others to feel intimidated." During a break, Valerie finds Mickey on the phone, talking to his doctor about possibly having cancer. Mickey says he's fine. "You know me, Red, I've had so many skin cancers removed," he assures Valerie, "I count it as major weight loss." During the next round of improv, Valerie keeps bringing up cancer awkwardly as Mickey watches.<br><br>Mark and Valerie are in the way of the ‘Seeing Red' production at their house, but Mark does manage to meet Seth Rogen. The scene Seth is in features Mitch going to Mallory's house to shoot her. "Spoiler alert!" Valerie yells. "Doesn't kill me!" Valerie tells Tyler to keep an eye on Mickey and get him any food and water, like a set production assistant. "Yeah, I don't wanna do that anymore," Tyler tells her. "I want to do that," he adds, pointing at Seth Rogen. Mark worries about all the damage that the production is doing to the house.<br><br>Production drags on, so Mark and Valerie escape to sleep at a rental complex they own in Hollywood. Jane and the cameras follow, driving Mark crazy. "We are never done," Mark yells. "We are never done!" The cameras watch and listen through the windows, as Mark says he's going to move out of the house. Jane shuts down the production just as a gunshot rings through the complex.<br><br>Mark and Valerie attempt to explain to the apartment superintendent that they own the building, but she seems skeptical. The super finally opens an apartment to find a gruesome suicide inside. "Are you happy now Valerie?" Mark asks. A police office tries to shoo Jane's cameras away from the crime. "All this is NG," Valerie says about the crime scene footage. "No good." Mark has had it with the situation. "Tomorrow I am going to start looking for a new place to move to," he tells Valerie. "You can join me if you want to."</p></div>
Valerie Is Taken Seriously
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>John Riggi<br><b>Directed by </b>John Riggi<br><br>In an interview with Jane, Valerie says that shooting is going "real good." Valerie, feeling put-upon, becomes irritated after Jane asks her to say which episode they're shooting that day. "You asked me to do this," Jane responds. "I'm doing it." Valerie immediately complies and apologizes. "We good?" Valerie asks Jane. A gift from Seth Rogen arrives for Valerie with a note: "Mallory, Blow me. Love, Mitch." Valerie learns that she doesn't have any more scenes with Seth and is concerned that she didn't get him a wrap gift.<br><br>Valerie excitedly heads toward the faux 'Room and Bored' set on 'Seeing Red,' but she discovers it's just a room painted green. Valerie will shoot the scenes on green screen; because the moments are Paulie G.'s fantasy version of 'Room and Bored,' backgrounds will be filled in later. "Couldn't he have imagined some furniture?" quips Mickey. HBO execs Rada and Connor appear to tell Valerie that Paulie G. won't be directing the next two episodes. Andie Tate, who's already on set, will take over. Rada excitedly mentions that Andie did all the green-screen work on 'Bitches vs. Witches.'<br><br>Billy shows up on set, trailed by HBO publicist Carl, who tells Valerie they've promised the New York Times a first look at 'Seeing Red.' Billy is upset that the Times interview trumps what he set up for Valerie with Jezebel, BuzzFeed and USA Today online.<br><br>Valerie is uncomfortable that the audience for the ‘Room and Bored' scenes is a small group of actors. "I wasn't really expecting to be working in a gumdrop today!" Valerie says of the green room. She's quickly satiated when the audience laughs at her performance rehearsal. The scene involves Valerie playing a track suit-wearing monster, all inside Paulie G.'s mind.<br><br>In her trailer, Valerie is dressed in a head-to-toe green suit for more green-screen scenes. A fired-up Billy tells her he cancelled all the interviews he set up so that HBO "will stop having a hissy fit." Billy has a breakdown, ranting that the other press outlets will be "pissed" at him. Just before his clients get big, Billy adds, they leave him, like Eva Longoria did before she got 'Desperate Housewives.' Billy demands to be fired before he quits and storms out. He comes back in a second later for his cell phone. "Can't even f**king quit right," he says. "Billy Half-Ass."<br><br>Just as Valerie walks to set in her green suit and a pair of large sunglasses, the HBO publicist Carl shows up with Liz, the writer from the New York Times. Valerie unsuccessfully tries to push her interview to the next day. Liz watches as Valerie does scenes in the green suit, including a sequence where Valerie acts like she's ripping a child apart. Liz tells Valerie she's seen the first episode of ‘Seeing Red' and that her performance is "very brave." Concerned, Valerie uses Jane's password to log into the production system, where she watches a dramatic scene of herself telling Mitch off. "Red!" Mickey exclaims. "All these years...you can really act!" Despite Mickey's praise, Valerie doubts her performance. She worries the scene is poorly lit feels she needs to do some damage control and hire Billy back to secure "some pretty magazine covers."<br><br>During production at her house, Valerie asks the lighting guy for better lighting. Paulie G. is pissed that Valerie saw the dailies, despite being on the "no dailies list." He snaps at her, saying he doesn't want to have "pretend conversations about light boxes," especially when he's two scripts behind.<br><br>Attempting to help, Valerie goes to see Paulie G.'s old writing partner Tom Peterman on the set of the Nickelodeon show he now executive produces called 'Nicky Nicky Nack Nack.' Tom can't help since things didn't end well between Paulie and him. Tom tells Valerie all the terrible things that Paulie G. used to say about her, including that she was the "devil." "Why does everybody make excuses for that guy?" Tom asks Valerie. "That shit sitcom 'Room and Bored' ruins my career and in the meantime everyone can't wait to work with him." As she's leaving set, Valerie gets a text from Mark -- he's rented a house in the Palisades to get away from the production at home.<br><br>Back on the 'Seeing Red' set, Valerie and Billy reconcile. Valerie prepares to do another interview for Jane, but Valerie thinks the room is too dark -- it won't match what they've done before. Jane tells her that HBO wants it that way: "They don't want it to look like we're shooting behind-the-scenes stuff anymore. They want it to look like a real documentary. They think there's a real interesting angle about you and the obstacles that you're facing with this role." Valerie puts her foot down: "I'm gonna need a few more lights if you want to continue with our little documentary."<br><br>Walking out, Valerie sees the New York Times writer Liz. Valerie asks her what she meant when she said her performance was "brave." Liz clarifies: "I think people are going to see you in a whole new light when this show premieres." Pleased, Valerie smiles and tells Jane, "I'll do whatever you want." She then opens her gift from Seth Rogen -- it's a star. "Seth Rogen gave me a star," Valerie says. "He's saying I'm a star. Isn't that nice?"</p></div>
Valerie Cooks in the Desert
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Michael Patrick King & Lisa Kudrow<br><b>Directed by </b>Clark Mathis</p><p>Valerie celebrates the ‘Seeing Red' review New York Times, highlighting the portions that mention her. Mark shows up. "There he is," Valerie says. "My stay-at-another-home husband." Valerie can't wait for the couple's planned sleepover on Saturday night, adding that she got them a reservation at Nobu in Malibu. Mark makes it clear he's irritated that the premiere party he came home for has been cancelled because Valerie has reshoots -- he drove all the way home for nothing. Mark tells Valerie he's not moving back after the 'Seeing Red' production finishes because he's already paid rent through the month.<br><br>HBO executive Rada shows up in Valerie's trailer to talk about the reshoots. The network wants to see more of Mallory. Mickey goes to the bathroom and makes distracting noise while Rada and Valerie chat. "I can kick the cancer," Mickey tells Valerie after Rada exits, "but the public humiliation is a whole other battle." Valerie assures him it's fine.<br><br>On the 'Seeing Red' set, Valerie discovers a Mallory set that includes her memorabilia wall, complete with her precious "I'm It!" chair back. Valerie balks, complaining that viewers will confuse Mallory with Valerie. Paulie G. instructs production to take down the chair back. Valerie mentions the New York Times review and the fact that television reviews are often mixed, setting Paulie G. off -- Valerie cites a review from BobTV.com to make him feel better. Ron tells Valerie she has to shoot in the desert on Saturday, which she tries to wiggle out of because of her date with Mark.<br><br>While Valerie's driving, Mark calls -- Val makes new dinner plans because of the desert shoot. She decides to cook dinner herself and goes to the grocery store to buy food. "Any wife can make reservations," she says proudly, "I'm making dinner!" After realizing that beef rollatini is too complicated, Valerie decides Mark would rather go out.<br><br>Gigi, the female writer from 'Room and Bored,' stops Valerie in the grocery store. The much-heavier Gigi tells Valerie she is working for 'Pretty Little Liars,' adopting a child and in sore need of a root canal. Gigi also says that she did a pilot for HBO a few years ago called 'Who Could Love You?' a female-driven comedy about a woman who woke up one day four times bigger than when she went to bed. "They picked up 'Girls' instead," Gigi whimpers, mentioning that she owns four houses and they're all empty and lamenting that it's difficult to get her dogs between the houses. "Don't show this anywhere, Jane," Gigi says, before leaving. "Women in this business are not allowed to cry. Don't show it." Valerie seems stunned at the encounter. "Wow, that's a cautionary tale, huh?" she says afterward. "That's what happens, though, when you make showbusiness your whole life, you know? The next thing you know you're eating kale chips out of a shopping cart." Valerie changes her mind and decides to take the beef.<br><br>On Saturday in the desert, Shayna tells Valerie that Paulie G. hasn't finished writing the final ‘Seeing Red' scene yet. Valerie reminds her that she has to be out by 5 p.m. While waiting, Valerie shoots a scene in the trunk of a car that's filled with fake snakes. Director Andie makes Valerie shoot the scene over and over, upping the ante of the situation each time, eventually employing real snakes. "There are no real dragons in 'Game of Thrones,'" Valerie reminds Andie.<br><br>Tyler mistakenly tells Valerie that Paulie G. is doing drugs instead of writing the final scene. She marches into his tent and he's getting a massage -- Paulie G. promptly kicks her out. While waiting, Valerie preps the beef rollatini with Marianina, the woman who sets her wig. "You're rolling out beef on my time?" an irritated Ron asks her. Tired of waiting and being pushed around, Valerie unleashes on both Ron and Shayna, after she's invited to set for the fourth time that day. "I know that you are not a fan!" she screams at Ron, who rolls away with his middle finger up.<br><br>At 11:30 p.m., Valerie arrives at Mark's Palisades rental with the rollatini. The place is dark, so she leaves the casserole dish on the doorstep with a note. As Valerie walks away, a couple of dogs dig into the rollatini. Valerie throws a "pebble" at Mark's window and breaks it. She tries to run off but Mark lets her in carrying the destroyed rollatini. Jane holds Valerie's note up to the cameras. It reads: "Marky Mark, I was late. Hopefully not too late. I love you. Valerie."</p></div>
Valerie Faces the Critics
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Michael Patrick King & Lisa Kudrow<br><b>Directed by </b>Michael Patrick King<br><br>The co-hosts of ‘The Talk' congratulate Valerie on her Emmy nomination for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Valerie clarifies once again that she's different than Mallory and gives a shoutout to Mark, as the ladies display the couple's "unique" wedding photo on the top of ski slope.<br><br>Mickey complains about feeling hot and cold all the time. "I have had so much radiation, every time I pass by a VCR it plays the movie 'Silkwood,'" he says. As Billy arrives, Valerie explains she's in the middle of an Emmy press blitz. "Ain't nothing wrong with that!" she adds. Jane tells Valerie she still needs the final scenes for her documentary, just as Billy announces that 'Entertainment Tonight' will follow Valerie as she gets ready for the Emmys. Jane balks: She'll be trailing with her crew, as she has exclusive rights to the Emmys. Valerie delivers lunch to Mickey, who's fallen asleep sitting on the couch.<br><br>That night, Valerie calls Mark, although she's not supposed to be talking to him outside their therapy sessions. She's writing a letter of recommendation for Tyler to get into USC film school and needs Mark's help. The pair agree to a "sneak date" the next night. As Valerie goes into the restaurant, Jane tells her she needs to film. Valerie balks at first, but then agrees to wear a mic. After Mark and Valerie sit down, he mentions his affair and her abortion, causing Valerie to immediately start tugging at her microphone. "Is this even real?" an incredulous Mark asks. "Is there any part of you that's even real anymore?" Valerie claims she's not doing it for her career but instead she's doing it for Jane -- she needs this.<br><br>Mark leaves the restaurant, and Valerie catches up with him at the valet. He rips into both Jane and Valerie. "I was your cheerleader, Val!" he yells at Valerie. "Ten years! Ever since you were obliterated by that f**king 'Comeback' disaster." He continues: "It's always about you. I have been there, Valerie, when no one believed in you!" Valerie says she's not no one -- the Television Academy thinks she's someone, which only enrages Mark more. "Do you even care about me anymore? Do you care about anyone? This is what you care about," he says, pointing at the cameras. "And everyone else, including me, is in the backseat." Finally, he says, "I hope you win. It's all you really care about." As he's driving away, Valerie gives him his Emmy ticket. "Please come," she says. "I don't know how to explain your absence." He gets in one final jab. "Are you even in there anymore?" Paparazzi from TMZ approach Valerie after Mark drives away.<br><br>In the morning, Valerie drives toward Mickey's apartment because he didn't show up to help her get ready for the day's press junket. Jane asks if she's worried, but Valerie acts like it's no big deal. She lets herself into the apartment and finds Mickey naked in bed. She fears the worst, but he's alive and immediately feisty. Juan, a guy Mickey met on GreyDaddy.com, walks out naked. "I just needed to have a little fun," Mickey tells Valerie.<br><br>At the junket, Valerie marvels at the 'Seeing Red' poster, which includes the tagline "Hollywood: Be the Heroin of Your Own Story." Valerie is interviewed by a roundtable of bloggers, who ask her a series of controversy-courting questions about comedy laugh tracks, the role of women in 'Seeing Red,' symbolism in the series and the rumors that the show ruined her marriage. Valerie laughs almost everything off and throws to Jane when the questions turn to the documentary -- Jane reveals that the working title is 'The Assassination of Valerie Cherish.'<br><br>After the junket, Valerie and company run into Paulie G. in the elevator. "Well, if this thing crashes," Paulie says, "couldn't be any worse than being in another room with the press, am I right?" Paulie learns that Valerie, Billy and Mickey are all going to the Emmy party that Juna, Valerie's now-famous ‘Room and Bored' co-star, throws every year. He fishes around for an invite but no one offers to bring him.</p></div>
Valerie Gets What She Really Wants
<div class='episode-body-left-aligned' style='text-align: left'><p><b>Written by </b>Michael Patrick King & Lisa Kudrow<br><b>Directed by </b>Michael Patrick King<br><br>Valerie waits to valet her car outside Juna's -- her old ‘Room and Bored' costar is throwing her annual party. Once inside, Valerie walks toward the pool and is greeted by clapping -- it takes her a minute to realize the adulation is for her. "Oh my goodness," Valerie says, making yoga hands. "Thank you."<br><br>Juna finds Valerie, first showing concern for Mickey's health before talking about ‘Seeing Red.' Juna says the show "makes it seem like I got ahead by taking my clothes off or sleeping my way into parts, which is not what happened." Valerie assures Juna that "it's HBO -- not that many people are gonna see it." Juna continues. "The other thing that really kills me is that Seth is charming," she complains. "It's like you and I are these awful women." When she realizes Mark isn't at the party, Juna becomes even more distraught. "You need Mark," she tells Valerie. Juna embraces Valerie for an extremely long hug.<br><br>Someone jumps off the balcony into the pool -- it turns out to be Tyler, who called Juna to get into the party. Valerie and Mickey scold him: "It won't be funny," Mickey says, "when you're sipping your life through a straw." A couple of guys stop Valerie and despite their mentions of "old woman's pussy," she still takes a photo with them.<br><br>Valerie's old ‘Room and Bored' co-star Chris -- now a movie star -- arrives at the party and immediately hugs Valerie. Young women -- as well as Tyler and Mickey -- are wild for Chris. Tyler takes Mickey home, while Valerie stays to have a drink with Chris. Chris reminisces about 'Room and Bored' with Valerie, but a group of girls keeps interrupting. The pair go to a bathroom to chat while Jane quickly follows with the cameras.<br><br>Valerie rides with Chris in his convertible, as Jane recklessly follows alongside in the Jeep. "The shot's too good!" she screams. Chris walks Valerie to the door and admits he had a crush on her during their ‘Room and Bored' days. "Can I come in?" he asks. Valerie is flattered but resists. "You make me feel so good," she explains, "but I'm married. I'm gonna give you a kiss because you are doing me a world of good." Chris quietly offers to enter from the back so no one can see. "Movie star with a mommy complex," Valerie says to the cameras as he leaves. "Next."<br><br>Valerie repeatedly rehearses her Emmy speech while she eats various items -- leftover salad, a Sara Lee pound cake, canned whip cream -- from her fridge. She uses a kitchen timer to keep the speech under 30 seconds.<br><br>On Emmy day, Mickey does Valerie's hair as Billy buzzes around with the ‘Entertainment Tonight' crew. Jane and Billy snipe at each other. Valerie scolds them: "So much tension. I thought I was supposed to be the nervous one." Esperanza announces that there's no water pressure in the house. Just as Mickey and Valerie reminisce about working together, Mickey gets a bloody nose. Mickey is devastated to admit that he can't go to the Emmys with Valerie. She assures him that he's not letting her down.<br><br>Esperanza points to water flowing from the garage into the driveway. She opens the garage door and brown water -- filled with human waste -- rushes out from a broken pipe in the garage wall. Brad Goreski pulls into the driveway, rushing because he's late, and slips and falls face first into the sledge. "I think I will send away 'Entertainment Tonight,'" Valerie decides.<br><br>Valerie knocks on her neighbor's door and asks the guy who answers if she can rinse off at his house. "What's my name?" he asks her. "You never come over to introduce yourself, after all this time, except now when you need help." Valerie apologizes. "Sir, I've got about an hour to get downtown for what might be the biggest night of my life, alright, so I just don't really have time to discuss the problems of the Middle East, real as they are." He reluctantly agrees to let her inside -- without Jane's cameras. Brad and Billy carry Valerie out of her house as a crew in hazmat suits works in the front yard.<br><br>Tents cover the Emmys' red carpet as it rains. Valerie vamps for the cameras and runs into Ron, the 'Seeing Red' line producer. "Wheelchair and a bolo tie is the opposite of the photo op we want," Billy warns, pulling Valerie away. HBO executive Catherine passes by, telling Valerie that she's rumored to win. Valerie is shocked to run into Tyler, who's using Mark's ticket. Valerie goes over to say hi to 'Room and Bored' director Jimmy Burrows and Sean Hayes, who's announcing her category. "Listen, no matter what it says on that card," Valerie pleads with him, "please say my name!" Valerie tells Jimmy that Mark didn't show.<br><br>An usher tells Jane she can't have her cameras in the theater aisle, so she uses an iPhone camera instead. As host Conan O'Brien gives his monologue, Mark texts Valerie to say that Mickey collapsed at home and they rushed him to Cedars-Sinai hospital. Valerie leaves her cameras inside and calls Mark multiple times from the lobby before taking an Uber to the hospital.<br><br>Valerie arrives and the doctor tells her that Mickey was bad upon arrival, but now he's okay -- his tumor is actually shrinking. Valerie finds Mickey in his room, watching the Emmys on mute after a turf war with his roommate. "Red, I'm scared," he admits to her. Mark shows up after a Starbucks run. "You came," he says, surprised. "I sent you that text, but I never expected you to."<br><br>Mickey turns up the volume on the Emmys telecast as Sean Hayes presents the award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. The three hold hands as Sean announces Valerie as the winner. Mark gives her a kiss. The Emmy telecast cuts to Jane and Billy in the audience, who are looking for Valerie. Sean accepts on her behalf, just as Paulie G. was making his way up the stage stairs, presumably to do the same thing. Valerie gives a speech into the remote, thanking "the two most important men" in her life. Mickey asks for his bag, so he can fix her hair. "If these meds don't kill me," he says, "the hair will."<br><br>"I'm so proud of you," Mark says to Valerie as they walk out of the hospital hand-in-hand. "So where's Jane?" Valerie balks. "Jane? I forgot about Jane." Mark is pleased. "You wanna swing by and check out some Emmy parties?" he asks her. To which Valerie replies, "Uh, have we met?"</p></div>
